Can it be true, I’m in my 50th year
turned 49 at the weekend, a great shock as it’s nudging that whopper of a birthday and I just don’t know where the years have gone. And the life milestones seem very slim in fact my life has done a reverse wedge.
I had career successes in my 30s infact some I am very proud of, such as the Darwin Centre. Then I spent my 40s doing creative strange things that were out of any spotlight eg getting married, working in Mozambique, and the breadth of my succeses slowly diminished but I had children and more than expected. So the achievements greatly changed shape and name. But standing on the edge of being 50 I don’t feel very grown up or shiny in fact dry and frayed at the edges!
I have just picked up my nerve to tell D am writing this blog... to which he said “why don’t you write something useful!” That about sums up my current sense of achievement!
Anyway I have a year to work on improving that as I want to approach 50 head on like a rutting stag. In the meantime the one thing I do know is that friendship matters and family, they are our source of love, understanding and companionship - I plan to nurture and tend them best I can.
Btw... it happened again someone sounding hugely shocked at my age then sucking in their cheeks and saying but you don’t look older than 44. Omg, if you are going to venture a recovery act do it properly ... 34, 24 and then hold your gaze however great the lie feels!
I had career successes in my 30s infact some I am very proud of, such as the Darwin Centre. Then I spent my 40s doing creative strange things that were out of any spotlight eg getting married, working in Mozambique, and the breadth of my succeses slowly diminished but I had children and more than expected. So the achievements greatly changed shape and name. But standing on the edge of being 50 I don’t feel very grown up or shiny in fact dry and frayed at the edges!
I have just picked up my nerve to tell D am writing this blog... to which he said “why don’t you write something useful!” That about sums up my current sense of achievement!
Anyway I have a year to work on improving that as I want to approach 50 head on like a rutting stag. In the meantime the one thing I do know is that friendship matters and family, they are our source of love, understanding and companionship - I plan to nurture and tend them best I can.
Btw... it happened again someone sounding hugely shocked at my age then sucking in their cheeks and saying but you don’t look older than 44. Omg, if you are going to venture a recovery act do it properly ... 34, 24 and then hold your gaze however great the lie feels!
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