I am so so boring

I have become so bloody boring. People kindly ask me how I am with an air of wonder. 

And I say "exhausted" but with such a depth of meaning that it shuts them up... as I look 

glazed and may well cry or elaborate on the tedious state of my tiredness.

But from 2 months to 11 I was getting 1-3 hours sleep a night in short bursts. It's turned into a 

fog of interplaying factors.  R has a scream or rather a bellow that literally lifts the 

roof off and quickly wakes W who then with a higher softer note shrieks with alarm 

and the duet wakes L and then my already pounding heart gives me such an adrenaline
burst that just swills around my exasperated and overloaded system. 

So at the first squawk I plunge R on my breast to muffle her, this now happens 12-20

a night and inbetween I hurl myself out of bed to hunt for W's dummy the moment she stirs... 

if overlooked for too long W will wake up completely and stand in her cot and cry and then 

refuse to go back to sleep for up to 2 hours. I often resort to holding her pincered by R on 

one side with W thrashing and turning and kicking me while I stop her falling out of bed or waking

R.

The worst moments are when to shut them both up I try to grapple them to my saggy breasts.  Its
so awkward and uncomfy and you feel as though two sweet but determined monkey-like parasites

have taken you over and you may NEVER be free to move or sleep again.

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