A luxurious bath...or something from lord of the rings?
It’s a struggle to fit washing of self in. Nowadays I do a daily cat wash and occasional 2 m shower but a luxurious bath (the sort my husband enjoys) happens once every 6-8 months, and sadly that’s not an exaggeration.
So on the eve of my birthday, a day when I plan to feel officially old...(Well actually I am trying to see age as a meaningless number but have quite a lot of work to do on that front)...I ask D if I can have said bath and Plan to add oils and think meaningful thoughts. As I’m running the bath Laurie appears and snarls that he doesn’t want to go on one of daddy’s outside adventures. I say “well do you want to sit in that chair next to the bath and explain to me why?” I suddenly think it might be a moment for us to chat in a mature mother to 6 3/4 old way. He sits, I add the last of my badeadas and some ‘pick me up’ oil and get in to my very hot lovely bath. L fidgets and can’t explain why he doesn’t want to go to the woods except...”I don’t”. Mature conversation over and suddenly he’s taken his clothes off and it bouncing up and down saying “can I get in?” I say as firmly as i can “no.” At which point he climbs onto the bath and straddles it arms one side feet the other. He looks like a predatory Gollum. Oh dear blood pressure rising. Then he begins badgering me “please please can I get in?” and falls in. I say “well stay neatly down that end and try not to move.”
Soon I hear pad pad, pad pad and the door creeks open... the girls appear. Argh, I try to breath. They find the sight of me and L in the large bath thrilling and circle like little sharks. Then settle on hurling objects from my sponge bag at me...the listerene bottle, mosteriser, hairbrush etc. But the greatest fun is getting hold of a cup and jug and pouring water from the bath onto the floor. They grin at me, small with curly hair like hobbits. I feel like the god forsaken ‘ring’ desperate to be left alone! (Infact I am not a fan of the films which seem so overcooked with dramatic scenery and cgi weirdos and they go on and on and on - climbing yet more craggy creaks, encountering yet more hideous surreal monsters, the whole thing makes me want to hide in a darkened room or wallow in a luxurious bath...)
But blow me Lord of the Rings is being enacted here and now. Then to top it all L makes a volcano from the old shampoo bottle squirting diluted shampoo in my eyes and howling with laughter and at this point D appears and cheers things along by loading the water pistol and shooting all of us. All in all it would make a super (and thankfully short) episode 4 and I resolve to abandon bath time expectations for another 6 months.
So on the eve of my birthday, a day when I plan to feel officially old...(Well actually I am trying to see age as a meaningless number but have quite a lot of work to do on that front)...I ask D if I can have said bath and Plan to add oils and think meaningful thoughts. As I’m running the bath Laurie appears and snarls that he doesn’t want to go on one of daddy’s outside adventures. I say “well do you want to sit in that chair next to the bath and explain to me why?” I suddenly think it might be a moment for us to chat in a mature mother to 6 3/4 old way. He sits, I add the last of my badeadas and some ‘pick me up’ oil and get in to my very hot lovely bath. L fidgets and can’t explain why he doesn’t want to go to the woods except...”I don’t”. Mature conversation over and suddenly he’s taken his clothes off and it bouncing up and down saying “can I get in?” I say as firmly as i can “no.” At which point he climbs onto the bath and straddles it arms one side feet the other. He looks like a predatory Gollum. Oh dear blood pressure rising. Then he begins badgering me “please please can I get in?” and falls in. I say “well stay neatly down that end and try not to move.”
Soon I hear pad pad, pad pad and the door creeks open... the girls appear. Argh, I try to breath. They find the sight of me and L in the large bath thrilling and circle like little sharks. Then settle on hurling objects from my sponge bag at me...the listerene bottle, mosteriser, hairbrush etc. But the greatest fun is getting hold of a cup and jug and pouring water from the bath onto the floor. They grin at me, small with curly hair like hobbits. I feel like the god forsaken ‘ring’ desperate to be left alone! (Infact I am not a fan of the films which seem so overcooked with dramatic scenery and cgi weirdos and they go on and on and on - climbing yet more craggy creaks, encountering yet more hideous surreal monsters, the whole thing makes me want to hide in a darkened room or wallow in a luxurious bath...)
But blow me Lord of the Rings is being enacted here and now. Then to top it all L makes a volcano from the old shampoo bottle squirting diluted shampoo in my eyes and howling with laughter and at this point D appears and cheers things along by loading the water pistol and shooting all of us. All in all it would make a super (and thankfully short) episode 4 and I resolve to abandon bath time expectations for another 6 months.
Comments
Post a Comment
Thank you for your message